Back to Where I Once Belonged

I am back from the beach and definitely wishing I was still there! It was so nice and cool and my skin absolutely loved the moisture. Well unfortunately I am back here in the heat and it is going to be a scorcher for the next week. Ugh.

Here are a few photos I took over the weekend of the garden where I stayed which are going to have to be a reminder to what cool weather looks like.
Not only did I enjoy the weather, but the entire experience really helped to re-energize me. Meeting new people and seeing a friend from long ago, deep and meaningful conversations. Seeing some wonderful creativity in so many areas by these new friends, great food, a beautiful garden and to top it off a wonderful art event!

I think having a chance to talk one on one with another creative, sharing our past many years since we have seen each other, really helped me clarify my thoughts. I am beginning to remember who I am. On the drive home I went through the country side and the drive on 126 gave me more time to collect my thoughts. As I was driving I was given a vision of my next piece of art. I used to get these visions all the time. It was these “day dreams” that wouldn’t leave me alone that were the beginnings of drawing I did that were more surrealistic and expressive. I realized back then that I had a muse, her name was Georg. Back then I used to listen to her and create based on the input she gave me. Then I guess at some point I realized that these images didn’t sell very well and I tried to become more commercial. Georg disappeared and guess what, these did not sell much better either. Hmm what to do? Over the last few years I have been building my technical skill and my muse has been absent. Well, on the way home from Oxnard she came back and gave me the first “daydream” I have had in a few years. It’s time to pay more attention to making art and less thinking about how or what to sell.
So in this blog I am going to give you a little history by going back to a series I did in pencil in the mid 1990’s. Though I had done some drawing before, this was my first group of drawings that was done in a series, like a story, an autobiography.
This is a story of self discovery. Finding a gift, exploring it, going through challenges because of it, and then finally realizing that the gift was myself imperfect and scarred, and that I am enough. When I did this I was wanting to capture the idea that we are a blank canvas that becomes a unique individual over time. The last slide is my self-portrait. This series is called “the Gift and it is all done in graphite pencil.

As with most of us here in this American culture we have been told that we were not enough, that we need to improve, we can be more. We are surrounded by this sentiment constantly. The media we consume, the marketing, and the self help industry wants to “help” us to be more. However, we can’t live up to all this pressure because we are finite and imperfect. We are unique and we are a gift just as we are. We are exactly what the world needs now even in our own unique and imperfect packaging. This is why we are here. The world needs our gifts shared, not our gifts in someone else’s packaging.

So, this is my calling, my special gift of vision. To share my art wether it makes any sense to me at the time I create it. It always seems to speak to others even though it may not sell. I know this is the real me, because it makes me uncomfortable to share. However, my job is to put it out there and I will continue to do that no matter what.

So this is the beginning of a new adventure to get back to me. And I am going to be creating and sharing through this blog, in my newsletter, on my website and on Instagram. By the way, I had to give up Facebook because of incessant hacking. I may go back eventually and I may not. Another big change because FB has been part of my life since 2008! I will start sharing works from my past that might be on the website telling the stories or sharing the poetry that go with them. I would love to hear your thoughts about them if they speak to you. Does this mean no more flowers or other objects or landscapes? No those things will become part of the images I create. This new drawing has fuchsia and landscape all wrapped in together.

I hope you are well and if you are lucky you have not had as much trouble being yourself as I have! Sometimes I just have to laugh!
Have a happy day,
Cheryl