It’s a puzzle, keep working till you figure it out

Just start writing…
What do you write when you’re not sure what you want to say? Or what do you write when you have so much to say that you aren’t sure where to start? The last two weeks, both of these things are true for me.
It’s like a jigsaw puzzle. Lots of people I know spent the pandemic lockdown doing jigsaw puzzles.

Over Christmas I got to work on one with my daughter and grandson.
You dump out the pieces on the table and it is just a mass of little pieces that seem to have no meaning. Colorful little bits of life that make no sense on their own. Everyone has a different way to begin. Some people don’t even need the picture on the box they just start finding pieces that work together and go for it.
Me, I like to start with the border pieces and build the outside first. I need the picture on the box. I need to have a vision of where it’s all going, at least a glimpse.

There were 3 of us working on the puzzle and each of us was working from our own perspective. Through out the process there were many times that one of us would say “ there surely must be pieces missing!” Because it just didn’t seem to fit together right. And then the next moment the missing piece was found that connected things in a way that hadn’t made sense a moment ago. There never were any pieces missing and it all eventually came together.
My life it a lot like a jigsaw puzzle these days.

I guess it all started even before the earthquakes in 2019. I was feeling the need for change. The problem was I didn’t have clear picture of what I wanted so I wasn’t sure how to start. The pandemic lockdown gave me the time to visualize what I wanted and to start working in that direction. This is a big change and there are lot’s of little pieces that don’t seem to fit until they do, just like the jigsaw puzzle. But everyday I work with the pieces that I have or think I have and I just keep going. Sometimes a piece that seemed to be the right fit just turns out to not be right after all and I renew my search. Some days it’s easy to feel like things will never come together, just like the puzzle, there seems to be no way for things to work and then suddenly they do.

I can’t see the finished project yet, however it is getting clearer and it is coming together. And even though nothing is clear enough to share yet it is clear enough for me to see progress and to feel positive about the future. And there are so many projects to do that are part of this puzzle, if one aspect isn’t working or is delayed, I just work on something else.

Then there is all of the purging I am doing too. I am clearing out things I no longer need or things that belonged to family I thought I might use, but never did over the last 12 years. Carloads of stuff being donated and trashcans full of shredded old business paperwork. It feels good to just clear it all out. I have empty cupboards and drawers and several pieces of furniture that will be gone soon. Simplifying life. Less for me to care for and less for my children to deal with, if and when.

I am also working on my children’s book idea. It’s going to be an alphabet book with silly animals created in a torn paper style in digital format. The letter A is my favorite so far and I think I can relate, because someday this will be me when all of this change is resolved. I might have to change my name to Ardis. 😊

Have a Happy Day!

Cheryl