Waiting for the Window to Open

What do you when you yourself are ready to move forward, but your future is not ready to contain you yet?

That’s where I am these days. My health is improving, the eye is slowly clearing and the nerve pain although not gone, seems more manageable. So all of this is good news. 

I still don’t have a moving date. Still lot’s of moving parts that are moving, just not at the speed I would like. 

So what am I doing these days? 

Making art seems to be taking a breather. No inspiration and that is ok. I know it will return, it always does. Not the first time in my life for this experience. What I know is I need to take care of the things I can and just not worry about the rest. I have been finding old drawings and paintings from the past that I can finish and so I am able to keep picking up a brush, a pencil, or a pen and working is short spurts. It reminds me how much joy making art brings me. It’s like taking a tranquilizer every time I pick up a pencil and that is worth it right there. 

I have been spending much of my time organizing and sorting my life collections as well as all of the collections left in this family home which at one time housed 5 of us, and where I grew up and now live. 

Going through souvenirs, photos, letters and more. Some from the 1940’s. Memories from my parents and their families growing up as well as the sweetest love letters my father wrote to my mother before they were married.  A couple for 50 years before my Dad passed in 2001, who never stopped loving each other. Pictures from my childhood and of my sisters, my children, and my sisters children. Lot’s of history that someday needs someone to organize it. Probably not me, I am just the keeper of relevant pieces. Someone else can put it together.

There is also an amazing amount of stuff I have collected for art projects… someday. Objects and mediums I have never worked in, tried but didn’t like, and just stuff I couldn’t throw away because it might come in handy for something.

It is all going away and it is amazing how much it makes me happy to see empty closets, shelves, drawers and floor space! Removing clutter makes me very happy! Who knew that would happen? I guess secretly I did, I just didn’t have the heart or the courage to let it all go. Some people say that you have to let things go to make room for the new in your life. Maybe that’s why I am in a holding pattern, because I have more to clear and let go of. 

This has all been hard even though I see progress. Sometimes my frustration gets the better of me and I get depressed and sad. Those feelings are normal and I know that and I am able to feel them and allow them and eventually come back to a positive place. It is good to have people around me who love me and help me snap out of it. We all need a support team! I hope you have one on your journey of life. 

Seek out like-minded people that you can trust and build an alliance. Not a ‘yes’ person, but someone who will push back and question decisions you make. We need a rational voice  to bring us back from the brink of ‘falling down the rabbit hole’ as one friend put it. Having a friend like that makes things go much smoother.

So I am waiting for my window of opportunity to open far enough for me to pass through. Doing what I can and living the best life I can while in this holding pattern.

Have a Happy Day,

Cheryl