Living in the Presence of the Divine

It all seemed like a dream come true.
I finally felt like I knew what to do.
There was a sense of focus, a plan
Some certainty in a life where 
There seemed to be too little of both.
I was looking forward to continuity, 
Peace of mind. 
Maybe even a little routine.

I was caught completely off guard 
By this topsy turvy tumble. 
Dumb-founded and Gobsmacked
I had to give in, give up, give out.
Living required it.
Choices I would never have made
Were suddenly the only choices I had.
Doctors, nurses, drugs, procedures
Had never been the answers to my life questions.
Now they became my life blood.

Navigating a world I had known only as a pathway to death
Felt frightening and unnatural.
Guides or maybe angels led the way
And all I could do was follow.

Each new day  became a chance at life
That I wanted to take. 
And each new day
Brings gifts I never imagined. 

Thoughts for the future become unexpected pleasures.
Each moment holds endless possibilities 
And I find hope and promise where there once was none.
I truly feel like I am living in the presence of the divine.

By Cheryl McDonald, 2024©

I looked at my blog this week and was surprised that my last post was in January of this year, just about 9 months ago. I had a pretty set plan of what I envisioned for 2024. I was busy with a job I enjoyed, I was planning to buy the house my parents had built from the estate that had finally been settled and I had decided to stay in Ridgecrest and continue building an artistic and creative life. 

Well, it is now October and none of that plan has come to pass, as a matter of fact, my whole life was turned upside down by a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer in April. Which you can read about on my CaringBridge.com page. 

It looked like my life was coming to a very abrupt end and I was not sure I would make it through the summer. We started chemo treatments at the end of May/ beginning of June and started seeing wonderful results by the end of July. The healing continues, and I am looking forward to being around living a full life and feeling good for the foreseeable future. How long? Who knows, none of us knows that, right? We need to enjoy one day at a time and make the most of it all. 

Another major change in my life is that I am now living in Los Angeles permanently. My daughters and I decided that to get the treatment and care I needed, living alone in a small town with almost no healthcare was not a particularly good idea, so the house I was planning to buy was sold to someone else. I have moved in with my LA daughter and her family. Major adjustment for all of us! We are doing great though, not only am I getting the care I need, I get to spend time with grandkids I used to only get to see a few times a year. I love it! I have room to continue making art and I get to help (eventually) with the gardening here as well.

So it has been a very unexpected year and I am still figuring out ways to navigate the changes and reevaluating what kind of life I will live here amongst one of the largest art communities there is. How and where do I fit in, how can I share my work and my skills? What do I want to make? Do I want to teach? Who knows, it will all unfold as it needs to. For now, I am resting and allowing myself the freedom to slow down and enjoy being alive.

One thing I have finally learned this year, I think, is that I am not the pilot of this life of mine. I do my best work when I allow my intuition and the Universe/ God/Spirit to lead. I feel like I am in the Presence of the Divine every day, and this has been an interesting way to live.  

It feels like the time has come to get back to writing here and sharing whatever adventure comes my way whether it is art, travel, life, or health. Being present in this world brings something new almost daily.

Thank You for Reading and Have a Happy Day!

Cheryl

The watercolor in the banner is called In the Presence of the Divine and I painted it back in the 1990s. It has always been my favorite work of art and it has been my guiding light for many years. I have sold many prints of this painting because of its inspirational quality, however, I still own the original and will probably never sell it. To order a print please send me a message!