Free Will

If you would like to listen to me read the poem, please click below.

The December holidays are coming to a close. This week feels less stressful than the last few. My Christmas weekend was not what was intended, I was not able to make it to family gatherings. It was not weather related, but health related. I chose to stay home to reduce my risk of disease and more realistically to reduce my stress level which was filling my mind with all sorts of unreasonable outcomes.
I hate spending the holidays alone, but I hate being sick even more, and in the end I am glad I made the decision that I did. I filled my holiday with many activities that have become less a part of my life since covid lockdown like having a friend who also was unable to travel for dinner and going to a movie. Both of which were delightful treats. I did get to have a Zoom meetup with family which also helped keep me from getting lonely. And the best outcome was a drastic reduction in my stress level and everyone was fine with my decision. It is wonderful to have a caring family who understands. We all do our best to help each other with whatever is going on in life. I hope you had the best possible holiday too!

Now to this pencil painting called Free-Will of which you can order prints. It is about making decisions for ourselves and letting go of the stories of my Christian upbringing which were always a challenge for me. To be clear, I do not want to offend any of my readers. These are purely my own thoughts and do not represent or reference any one religion. If Christianity, Buddhism, Paganism, or any other religion works for you I am glad. They do not work for me.

The old-testament God always seemed like a petulant child to me. This masculine, jealous, and angry guy in the sky meeting out punishment to those who didn’t fall in line. The new testament addition of Jesus was softer, more of a teacher, which I appreciated, however God was still the enforcer. In my younger years as a christian, our pastor was an open-minded man who allowed the questioning of belief and I could ask no wrong questions. He was also a wonderful and caring person who allowed there to be much joy and celebration in religious practice.
Once he move on to another location, I never found another teacher like him in the Christian realm and so I also moved on. I took philosophy classes in college, and I am still constantly reading and listening to other spiritual teachers of various traditions. What I discovered is they have many teachings in common and many that I value and incorporate. I also discovered that religion is a human thing. That people need something to believe in even if that thing is atheism.

My studies led me to believe that I have a need for a spiritual connection and that spirit is so vast it is unknowable, that my intuition is a wonderful teacher and because I was raised to be a responsible adult who finds value in nature, people and critters, I have no need for the rules of a religion. I find those rules a trap and limit the possibilities for being my best self.

This painting is full of symbols, archetypes of power, feminism, classicism, and I use multiple dimensions to express time and change, because I believe that all of these things play into the notion that religion plays in our society and in my own spiritual journey.

Our choices, whether to limit ourselves because of beliefs we have been taught or because we are willing to break free and choose a new path are truly our own, and I value you for making them for yourself. The more we allow each other to make our own responsible choices the closer we can come to living in harmony. Your choice does not have to be my choice for that to happen.

Have a Happy Day!

Cheryl